Neti Neti

How a Sanskrit term and Wordle can guide us in the right direction and help us find joy in the journey.

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There is a Sanskrit term I love called Neti Neti, which means “not this, not this”. The gist is when you encounter something that isn’t working for you, that supposedly “wrong choice” actually pushes you in the right direction. The key is to pay attention and become aware.

There’s a cultural myth that makes us think we need to do everything perfectly the first time around. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that kind of track record. For the past decade, I’ve written a food and entertaining blog, AndSheCooks2. The site is graced with beautiful meals, but what most don’t see are all the recipes that have ended up in the trash or down the garbage disposal. It’s easy to assume that someone else has it all together and that everything comes easily when you’re looking in from the outside.

Today, parents are bombarded with unrealistic yardsticks from peers and experts. They pop up on phones, on podcasts in the car, and email inboxes. What’s lacking from the incessant swiping and scrolling is taking a beat to see if any of it might actually work for you. Just because something is out there and eye-catching doesn’t mean it’s going to be effective for you individually.

Have you ever played the game, Wordle? I recently picked it up. What drew me in was that you get five chances to guess the correct word. It’s statistically impossible to get it right on the first try. Each “wrong” deduction unearths clues that actually steer you toward the correct outcome, if you’re paying attention. Most of my wins occur in the fourth and fifth rounds. I can’t tell you how many times the game has exclaimed “Phew”.

The other thing I like is that it’s a challenge you face each day pretty much by yourself. Kind of like life. You get up and you try. If you slow down and pay attention there’s a better chance you’ll succeed at what you have set out to accomplish. Rarely does it come immediately and seamlessly.

That’s the gold of Neti Neti. Appreciating “not this” often is the perfect roadmap to steer you where you want to go.

Sandy